I have been struggling with writing recently. I have been grounded and connected; peaceful and hopeful about the future. So why is it that my creativity seems to have vanished in such a positive moment in my life? Where has it gone?
When I realized that I was going through this I instantly reacted. I called myself lazy for not forcing myself to write. I even called myself a shallow, bad writer. “It doesn’t matter if you write, girl. You don’t write that well anyway.”
Well, here is my “Medusa” mind speaking. I call her Medusa because of my toxic relationship with it. We all go through this at some point.
But I’ll pass. I’m over this.
After I decided not to give my mind the attention it craved, an idea, an inspiration hit me quickly – why not write about some inspiring quotes who have uplifted you and your friends so many times? Why not start with the one about being kind to yourself as if you were talking to a child?
Bingo. It seems ultimately I could use a bit of love after being so harsh on myself. Matt Kahn’s beautiful quote came to my mind, and I hope it will be of benefit for all of you who may sometimes struggle with being kind and compassionate about yourselves.
“If it’s not the way you would talk to a child in need, it shouldn’t be the way you talk to yourself.” Matt Kahn
Matt teaches us something so simple yet so profound with those words. We all talk about kindness. Our mother told us to be kind to our neighbors. To the kid having a hard time at school. To our siblings when they were overreacting and crying. To our family and friends when they weren’t having an easy time.
But most of us weren’t taught how to be kind to ourselves. We weren’t told that it’s okay to make mistakes – even big ones. We were told people could judge us by our first impression. We were told not to be loud, not to be rude, not to be mouthy. But we weren’t told that regardless of the many attempts to fit in society, we would still make mistakes and we would still be flawed.
We weren’t told to love our flaws and our scars.
I believe this quote can touch our hearts when we come to terms with who we are: human beings who are still learning and who need to feel supported. Our inner child is still alive and still yearning for attention, for validation, for love.
Using my example, I’d never tell a child she isn’t a good writer. If she came whining that she can’t get one piece of writing right, or that her teacher doesn’t seem to have liked her latest work, I’d tell her, “You wrote so many beautiful pieces before. You may just need a break. Don’t worry. You’ll be inspired soon! Don’t give up.”
Would you tell her the same? I bet you would.
So moving forward, when you start judging yourself for every little thing, think of your “flawed” self like a child in need. What would you tell this child? I’m sure soothing words will come out of your mouth like a balm on a dried, stretched skin.
“It’s okay to be upset about this. But I’m sure this will all be over soon.”
“Want to take a walk in the park?”
“Here, have some cake!”
What would you tell your inner child now? Whatever words you use, I’m sure your inner child needs love. She deserves a hug. Or another piece of cake.
This seems like such a simple practice but it can be really difficult to maintain this constant loving relationship between you and your inner child. Your mind will play painful scenarios in your head. It will try to trap you with its BS analysis and overreactions and try to make you feel shame, guilt, anger.
But don’t fall for your mind’s traps. Fall for the inner child in need instead.
Many religions tell us about compassionate gods and their love for their children. Whether you believe in a god or not, you can still believe in yourself as being able to love that inner child. So speak to yourself with kindness. You have grown a lot, and the “old” you would probably be so proud to see what you have become. Remember that you are still learning after all. Remember that deep inside you are just a child in need of love.